My husband and I watched the movie, Enough Said the other night.
The story of middle-aged romance told without the obvious Hollywood filters.
She’s been single (divorced) for ten years. He only four.
She hangs out with a couple who are long married, and it shows in their exchanges.
He doesn’t seem to socialize much.
They meet at a party, and he calls her for a date.
Then the reality of dating later in life plays out.
She has carved out her own life. She’s empowered to be herself, and not to try to look as young as her eighteen year old daughter.
He has a gut, admits to eating too much, and snores. He is defensive about his lifestyle and choices.
That’s what I found so interesting and real about this movie. Although she was confident in almost all areas of her life, she was deeply afraid of risking failure in love.
And he just wanted to be accepted for who he was. He knew he was an overweight, aging guy, but his heart was as large as his belly. He clearly wanted to care for someone, to shower them with love and attention.
He leads with his heart, she stays too long in her head, and allows doubt to creep in.
I’ve lived this movie, and so have some of my closest friends. Why do we feel so undeserving of love, even while craving love?
The movie explores the realities of what do you do when you no longer have to parent 24/7? How do we navigate the exes and the new spouses? How do you build a life for yourself without creating barriers to love?
The movie reminded me that love takes effort- constant effort. Sometimes I think we go into post divorce relationships with even higher expectations than we ever had the first time around. Maybe that’s why succeeding marriages have a greater chance of failing.
We forget that love takes a leap of faith.