Trust Your Gut

How do you trust your gut?

My gut is currently in great turmoil. I am taking so many supplements to repair my whole inner guidance system it borders on the absurd.

The last five years have wrecked havoc on my body and tormented the emotional self as well.
My adrenal system is fried, my body has depleted its natural stores of Vitamin D, my thyroid is out of control and my hormones are wacky.

If my gut is under a doctor’s care, can I rely on it to help guide me in the right direction? I have always trusted my instincts, but they seem to have deserted me. My mind spins round and round asking the same question over and over, “what next?”

I retreat from drama and yet, it intrudes and plays out all around me.  I get sucked in. I am seduced by the promise that my opinion, my level head will affect the outcome. Then I am sucker punched in the gut, and  left standing all alone in my confusion.

The feeling is best described in a dream I had recently. I am forced to drive across a really tall bridge in town to get to my destination. I normally avoid this bridge and go around rather than ratchet up the anxiety. This time, I have no choice. I have no time to waste, so I take a deep breath, strap myself into the car and start up the hill.

Suddenly the car hits a track and I am no longer steering, the car and the track are one. They hurdle me along at breakneck speed toward the summit of the bridge. I am terrified and desperately struggle to regain control of the vehicle.

I look down and see the river far, far below me as we plummet down the crest. The wheel is spinning out of my hands, the pedals are useless. I am no longer in control. I close my eyes and wait for this crazy trip to be over.

I wake up with my heart pounding, sweaty and tired. The same question pops into my thoughts,
“what next?”

© annettealaine


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